"Stripped" by Kathy
By Kathy, Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd, Salinas, CA
I find it interesting how the things that compel us in the delegation to come back to El Salvador year after year are the same things that initially repelled us from participating in the experience in the first place. Few flush toilets. No fancy hotel rooms. We live like the people. No blow dryers. No straighteners. No makeup. They look at what's on our insides, not our outsides (except in Mike's case-he can be a little scary). No nice rental car. A not-so-magic school bus takes us from place to place. (I don't think the word 'smog test' exists in El Salvador). Beans and corn at every meal. No meat for days at a time. We're nourished by the bread of life and get our energy from the joy we bring to people we have come to love.
This is how we choose to live. This what we decide to spend our Christmas vacation doing. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Not one person who has gone on these trips has said that they would rather be laying on a beach in Hawaii or shopping at a mall back home (except perhaps during the meetings). In fact, first-timers this year all said that this was the best trip that they had ever been on and that they'd never been happier or more joyful on another vacation.
And do you know why? Because when we come to this place, a layer of us is peeled away. A hollow shell that we often think is all we are made of. But we forget what is on the inside of that shell. When we come here, that outer shell is discarded (to be replaced by a layer of sweat and grime). But we are sweating for people we love, for a country we believe in, for dreams we intend to see through to the end. And there is something so pure and wonderful about that, about leaving behind material possessions and devoting yourself to helping other human beings, the true spiritual comfort you experience makes up for any physical discomfort.
It's like a dark cloud is lifted off of your mind. All of the stress, the competition, the envy, the greed, and the desires that consume our daily lives at home are left behind when we come here. And they're replaced with something infinitely more amazing. One of the only times I truly felt at peace with the world was sitting out at night, singing a song about peace and solidarity throughout the world, with people I didn't know, in a language I didn't understand, but I knew what they meant because I could feel it in my soul.
On our trip this year we talked with a remarkable woman, a nun named Sister Peggy (who doesn't fit my description of a nun at all), and she told us something that I had never thought about before. She gave us her own definition of a 'virgin'. She said that a virgin was a person who looked deep inside their soul to see who they truly were, who God made them to be and followed that no matter what; someone who looks inside themselves for identification in a chaotic and confusing world rather than outside. And the more that I think about it, the more I try to describe how I feel in El Salvador, the more that seems right. I feel like myself, like I am finally, really me. Stripped of the mask that I place on myself every day, I can just be myself.
And there's no reason why we can't all live like this all year long, every day of our lives, forever. To never have to lie to ourselves or anyone else again. To not be ashamed or afraid and cover up who we really are inside. To not be fake or superficial, to just be ourselves. In a way it's the scariest, most intimidating thing in the world, but at the same time, the most comforting. And I believe that this is what keeps bringing us back to this tiny, obscure country, time after time. I can see the person I want to be when I come to El Salvador.
Added by Kent September 5, 2007 (11:05PM)
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